Dr. Becky Lang
April 29, 2020
The Three C’s of Listening Well
I attended a webinar by Drs. Joel Porter and Steven Rollnick titled, Listening During Times of Uncertainty. The following is a summary of key contributions by Dr. Rollnick that may be helpful for us during these days.
There is a difference between hearing and listening.
Listening is not just being warm and friendly.
Listening is first feeling empathy. The ability to stand in someone else’s shoes.
Secondly, listening is making a verbal statement, a statement outloud, so the other person knows you are “standing in their shoes.” Your verbal statement makes an empathic connection.
A verbal statement is not, “I understand.” It is a listening statement of something the person said or of what is going on with that person. A reflection.
" Right now, you have many things going on."
The mindset of listening well:
Need to let go of:
Clutter of the mind – filled with our agenda & diagnoses
Cleverness - the need to come up with something unique
Complexity – filled with many options & possibilities
To get into this state of the mind, get into:
Calm - breathe
Curiosity - genuine curiosity of what is going on with others
Compassion- concern for the sufferings of others
Using this Listening Mindset can assist in reducing stress, wasted energy and misunderstandings.
Remembering the three C’s of Listening Well: calm, curiosity and compassion.
The less time we have with another person, the more important that we have a mindset of listening. Dr. Steven Rollnick
Which C is the one you are focusing on today?
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